"Major Motion Picture Star"
from "Reagan: Dementia In Absentia" by Scott Vehill and Richard Henzel
Lyrics by Richard Henzel

(Sung to the tune of "Modern Major General" by Gilbert and Sullivan)
RONNIE:
I was the very model of a major motion picture star
I never was the kind of guy who tried to pick up gals in bars
I never wasted any time, I exercized, I learned my lines, I kept a tan,
I got my rest, I shmoozed the studio execs

SECRET SERVICE AGENTS (Dancing)
He never wasted any time
He exercized, he learned his lines
He kept a tan, he got his rest
He shmoozed the studio execs

RONNIE: My background as a radio announcer gave me such and edge
The brand new talking picture guys were really stuck out on a ledge
My skills pronunciational,
My keen articulationals;
I got the jobs despite the fact my acting weren't sensational.

SECRET SERVICE AGENTS (Dancing)
His skills pronunciational,
His keen articulationals;
He got the jobs despite the fact his acting weren't sensational.

RONNIE (Aside, with vamp under)
They called me "The Errol Flynn of the B's..." Funny, I always thought of Flynn as "The Ronald Reagan of the A's... I got my first breaks from the busiest director of "B" pictures: Brynie Foy--known as "The Keeper of the B's." Brynie could turn out a movie in about three weeks. When Screen magazine asked Brynie what was it impressed him most about Ronnie Reagan, he said, "He shows up in the morning. Sober."

(He sings)
In '38 I made my first film titled "Love Is on the Air,"
In "SubmarineD-1"they put a pompadour right in my hair
Then "Seargent Murphy," "Swing Your Lady," 
"Hollywood Hotel" was crazy
"Accidents Will Happen"
then "A Cowboy From Brooklyn."

In '53 made two films "Tropic Zone" and "Law and Order,"
'54 "Prisoner of War," "Cattle Queen of Montana,"
In '55 I made one show
"Tennessee's Partner" didn't go
My acting career was getting slow
But I still was making money.

RONNIE: In 1957 I did "Hellcats of the Navy"
In that I got to do some acting with my fav'rite lady...   (Aside, swooning into agent's arms) Oh, Nancy...
(Legato) "The Killers" was my last movie
It killed the big screen biz for me
(A Tempo)
Who needed that--there was TV
And the rest, you know, is history.

RONNIE and SECRET SERVICE AGENTS TOGETHER, DANCING: THE KILLERS was my (his) last movie
It killed the big screen biz for me (he)
Who needed that--there was TV
And the rest, you know, is history.
And the rest, you know, is history!
 

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